Are you willing to read funny jokes to give a refreshing start to your day? Then you should definitely read these jokes in order to give yourselves a very hearty laughter.
A list of the best funny jokes to give you a rumbling tummy
This is a list of the best funny jokes that can make you have tears with laughter.
1. My girlfriend’s birthday is in two days
- And she told me “Nothing would make me happier than a diamond ring”.
- So I bought her nothing!
2. An airplane was about to crash
- There were 4 passengers on board, but only 3 parachutes.
- The 1st passenger said “I am Stephen Curry, the best NBA basketball player. The Warriors and my millions of fans need me, and I can’t afford to die.” So he took the 1st pack and left the plane.
- The 2nd passenger, Donald Trump, said, “I am the newly-elected US President, and I am the smartest President in American history, so my people don’t want me to die.” He took the 2nd pack and jumped out of the plane.
- The 3rd passenger, the Pope, said to the 4th passenger, a 10-year-old schoolboy, “My son, I am old and don’t have many years left, you have more years ahead so I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute.”
- The little boy said, “That’s okay, Your Holiness, there’s a parachute left for you.
- America’s smartest President took my schoolbag.”
3. Difference between a beautiful night and a horror night
- Beautiful night is,
- When You hug your teddy bear and sleep.
- Horror night is,
- When your teddy bear hugs you BACK.
4. Once all the engineering professors were sitting in one plane
- Before the takeoff, one announcement came
- “This plane is made by your students”
- Then all professors stood up, ran and went outside.
- But the principal was sitting.
- One guy came and asked, “are you not afraid”?
- Then the principal replied
- “I trust my students very well and I am sure the plane won’t even start”.
5. Those who are single, Let’s sing this song together
- Single bells
- Single bells
- Single all the way
- Oh what fun it is to watch
- those couples fight all day. Yay…
6. 8 p.m. I get an SMS from my girlfriend: Me or football?
- 11 p.m. I SMS my girlfriend: You of course.
7. I was in 10th; she was in 10th
- I was in 12th; she was in 12th.
- I got BSc; she got BSc
- I was doing MSc; she got married.
- I was preparing for JRF; she’s the mother of 1 child.
- I got a PhD; she’s the mother of 2 children.
- I am doing PhD; her daughter is in 1st standard
- I became doctorate; her daughter is in 10th
- I have joined a job; her daughter has joined college
- And the greatest Irony!
- Today is my engagement
- And her daughter is my fiancée.
8. My girlfriend broke up with me
- She thinks that I am childish.
- So I calmed down, took a deep breath, went to her house, rang the doorbell and ran away.
9. Today was my first day entering a court
- The judge shouted “Order, Order!!”
- I was so excited,
- So I shouted back “fried rice with chicken, five bottles of beer and a chilled glass of special ice mineral water.”
- I am now locked up in a dark room.
- I am sure they will bring my order soon.
10. I don’t know why it hurts when we bite our tongue mistakenly
- But it didn’t hurt when we bite it intentionally.
- And I still don’t understand why you are biting your tongue now.
11. The Biggest Lie
- Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
- The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?”
- One boy answers, “We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”
- “You should be ashamed of yourselves,” Said the teacher, “When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was.”
- The boys gave ten dollars to the teacher.
12. I visited my EX-girlfriend and she gave me food.
- After a few second their dog came in and started to jump over and I said “this dog loves visitors”
- A child replied, “No! No! Uncle, the problem is that you are using its plate”.
13. I remember once when my dad gave me money to pay the electricity bill but instead I bought a lottery ticket for a brand new car.
- When I got home explained to my dad what I did and he beat the crap out of me.
- But the next day, when my dad woke up and opened the door, outside my house was a brand new car. We all cried especially me,
- Because the car was from the electricity company, they were there to cut off the electricity.
- My dad beat the crap out of me again.
14. If a paper comes very tough in an exam,
- Just close your eyes for a moment,
- Take a deep breath and say loudly,
- “This is a very interesting subject; I want to study it again”.
15. Read all the sentences in order
- This is this cat
- This is is cat
- This is how cat
- This is to cat
- This is keep cat
- This is an cat
- This is idiot cat
- This is busy cat
- This is for cat
- This is thirty cat
- This is seconds cat
- Now go back and read the third word in each sentence.
16. A guy went for an interview at a big IT company for the position of “Computer Hacking Investigator”
- The boss asked him: So, what makes you suitable for this job?
- Well, he replied, I hacked into your computer and invited myself to this interview.
17. They say milk gives strength.
- I drank 4 cups and couldn’t move a wall.
- But when I took 4 bottles of beers,
- I saw the wall moving itself.
- These scientists should better stop their lies.
18. If a barber makes a mistake, it’s a new style
- If a politician makes a mistake, it’s a new law
- If a scientist makes a mistake, it’s a new invention
- If a Taylor makes a mistake, it’s a new style
- If a teacher makes a mistake, it’s a new theory
- But, if a student makes a mistake, it’s a mistake.
Here is the list of the best funny jokes that you can enjoy with your family and friends and Have a good laughter time.