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The best funny jokes that are going to make you roll on your stomach

May 19, 2021 By Ruchi Leave a Comment

Are you willing to read funny jokes to give a refreshing start to your day? Then you should definitely read these jokes in order to give yourselves a very hearty laughter.

A list of the best funny jokes to give you a rumbling tummy

This is a list of the best funny jokes that can make you have tears with laughter.

1. My girlfriend’s birthday is in two days

  • And she told me “Nothing would make me happier than a diamond ring”.
  • So I bought her nothing!

2. An airplane was about to crash

  • There were 4 passengers on board, but only 3 parachutes.
  • The 1st passenger said “I am Stephen Curry, the best NBA basketball player. The Warriors and my millions of fans need me, and I can’t afford to die.” So he took the 1st pack and left the plane.
  • The 2nd passenger, Donald Trump, said, “I am the newly-elected US President, and I am the smartest President in American history, so my people don’t want me to die.” He took the 2nd pack and jumped out of the plane.
  • The 3rd passenger, the Pope, said to the 4th passenger, a 10-year-old schoolboy, “My son, I am old and don’t have many years left, you have more years ahead so I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute.”
  • The little boy said, “That’s okay, Your Holiness, there’s a parachute left for you.
  • America’s smartest President took my schoolbag.”

3. Difference between a beautiful night and a horror night

  • Beautiful night is,
  • When You hug your teddy bear and sleep.
  • Horror night is,
  • When your teddy bear hugs you BACK.

4. Once all the engineering professors were sitting in one plane

  • Before the takeoff, one announcement came
  • “This plane is made by your students”
  • Then all professors stood up, ran and went outside.
  • But the principal was sitting.
  • One guy came and asked, “are you not afraid”?
  • Then the principal replied
  • “I trust my students very well and I am sure the plane won’t even start”.

5. Those who are single, Let’s sing this song together

  • Single bells
  • Single bells
  • Single all the way
  • Oh what fun it is to watch
  • those couples fight all day. Yay…

6. 8 p.m. I get an SMS from my girlfriend: Me or football?

  • 11 p.m. I SMS my girlfriend: You of course.

7. I was in 10th; she was in 10th

  • I was in 12th; she was in 12th.
  • I got BSc; she got BSc
  • I was doing MSc; she got married.
  • I was preparing for JRF; she’s the mother of 1 child.
  • I got a PhD; she’s the mother of 2 children.
  • I am doing PhD; her daughter is in 1st standard
  • I became doctorate; her daughter is in 10th
  • I have joined a job; her daughter has joined college
  • And the greatest Irony!
  • Today is my engagement
  • And her daughter is my fiancée.

8. My girlfriend broke up with me

  • She thinks that I am childish.
  • So I calmed down, took a deep breath, went to her house, rang the doorbell and ran away.

9. Today was my first day entering a court

  • The judge shouted “Order, Order!!”
  • I was so excited,
  • So I shouted back “fried rice with chicken, five bottles of beer and a chilled glass of special ice mineral water.”
  • I am now locked up in a dark room.
  • I am sure they will bring my order soon.

10. I don’t know why it hurts when we bite our tongue mistakenly

  • But it didn’t hurt when we bite it intentionally.
  • And I still don’t understand why you are biting your tongue now.

11. The Biggest Lie

  • Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
  • The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?”
  • One boy answers, “We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”
  • “You should be ashamed of yourselves,” Said the teacher, “When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was.”
  • The boys gave ten dollars to the teacher.

12. I visited my EX-girlfriend and she gave me food.

  • After a few second their dog came in and started to jump over and I said “this dog loves visitors”
  • A child replied, “No! No! Uncle, the problem is that you are using its plate”.

13. I remember once when my dad gave me money to pay the electricity bill but instead I bought a lottery ticket for a brand new car.

  • When I got home explained to my dad what I did and he beat the crap out of me.
  • But the next day, when my dad woke up and opened the door, outside my house was a brand new car. We all cried especially me,
  • Because the car was from the electricity company, they were there to cut off the electricity.
  • My dad beat the crap out of me again.

14. If a paper comes very tough in an exam,

  • Just close your eyes for a moment,
  • Take a deep breath and say loudly,
  • “This is a very interesting subject; I want to study it again”.

15. Read all the sentences in order

  • This is this cat
  • This is is cat
  • This is how cat
  • This is to cat
  • This is keep cat
  • This is an cat
  • This is idiot cat
  • This is busy cat
  • This is for cat
  • This is thirty cat
  • This is seconds cat
  • Now go back and read the third word in each sentence.

16. A guy went for an interview at a big IT company for the position of “Computer Hacking Investigator”

  • The boss asked him: So, what makes you suitable for this job?
  • Well, he replied, I hacked into your computer and invited myself to this interview.

17. They say milk gives strength.

  • I drank 4 cups and couldn’t move a wall.
  • But when I took 4 bottles of beers,
  • I saw the wall moving itself.
  • These scientists should better stop their lies.

18.  If a barber makes a mistake, it’s a new style

  • If a politician makes a mistake, it’s a new law
  • If a scientist makes a mistake, it’s a new invention
  • If a Taylor makes a mistake, it’s a new style
  • If a teacher makes a mistake, it’s a new theory
  • But, if a student makes a mistake, it’s a mistake.

Conclusion 

Here is the list of the best funny jokes that you can enjoy with your family and friends and Have a good laughter time.

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